Many things.
which probably boils down to: nothing at all.
Once upon a time I used to entertain the idea of me as an 'activist' (whatever that means), who is really o-u-t there doing 'important' stuff
And while I don't deny everything that I gained from those days (as it turns out - full time activism brings more to the activist than to the world that one is set out to 'change').. after various turns of destiny I realised that I could not really try to find o-u-t there what was really missing underneath
This is not an existential crisis - is pretty much an empirical observation, actually.
There is no hope beyond the realms of our own thoughts.
There isn't really any other winnable battle, we can only realistically hope to nurture and unlock our minds
To change powerful 'structures'. To make 'revolutions'. To change what is.
Those are nothing but false illusions.
Nothing at all
I guess, then, that a better way of framing that is by asking, instead: what I am afraid of loosing?
My desire to unlearn, to challenge the patterns, the scripts that I was jailed into believing as my own
No childhood shit. We can't expect to grow up - to really grow up, if we don't grow out of ourselves and our ego.. that which narcissistically fools us into believing that 'we can change the world' while sneakingly prompts us to n-o-t check ourselves.
Another world is possible? probably not.
But another way of thinking the world is not only possible, but all around us.
Around you and me. If we dare to look at each other in the eye, as well as within
